got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
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