We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
