chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
