New invention idea: vibrating tampons
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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