Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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