so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
