i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
