Do you still have your period?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Randomize
