right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
