I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
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