am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
