No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
