What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
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