TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I look better un-naked...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
