nut hugger
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
