Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
