We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
lets start a swedish sibling band together
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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