I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
