My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
