it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
