Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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