I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
