So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
