Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
