I think I just saw someone hide a body.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize