It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
