And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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