I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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