Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
