I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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