butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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