i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
