How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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