I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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