so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I want her autograph on my taint
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
