You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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