I'm gonna have a badass scar
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
