you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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