This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
