I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
