no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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