he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
