How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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