your room smells of hookers.
And success
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
