she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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