Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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