This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
