How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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