I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
