If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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