OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
