i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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